would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
