Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
