Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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