Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
