But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
