im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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