Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize