wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize