I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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