last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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