i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
