I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
