9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
