But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
