HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
