***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he thought i was a dude.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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