You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
