I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
