you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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