You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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