Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
