Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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