All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
