i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
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