you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
