I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
