dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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