you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
