Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
