we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
do herpes really smell.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
