i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
