when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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