Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
