6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
