it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
