one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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