ugly people sure do ruin things
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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