Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
