I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
