My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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