sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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