She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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