Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
