His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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