we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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