Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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