I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she peed on how many people?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
