As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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