Banned from zoo.
Again?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
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I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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