I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
