How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
