Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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