My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
