I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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