he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
