O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
