Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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