So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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