like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
