She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
