eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
