I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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