Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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