is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
