It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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